The Origins: As a first generation Mexican-American, mental health was not talked about at home. I never knew how to process or cope with negative emotions. I was taught that men shouldn’t be emotional and kept everything bottled in. This led to the buildup of anxiety followed by depression in my early 20’s.
The darkness of my depression turned me into a self-loathing, unhappy and unfulfilled person. I knew intuitively I wasn’t destined to live in pain, so I started seeking self-healing practices outside of my culture.
The Challenge I became opened to different modalities of healing. I started diving into the use of psychedelics for healing and growth. In 2016, I sat in my first Ayahusaca ceremony. My life as I knew it was forever changed. Ayahuasca opened me up a different way of being. Several months later I found myself in the same toxic thought patterns and behaviors because I wasn’t integrating. This eventually led to an even darker period of my life.
The Transformation
In 2019, after taking some time off psychedelics, I came back to sit with Mother Aya and had an ego death experience. I was humbled by this and for the first time I started to integrate the experience. The next 6 months, I was devoted to my integration, I cut myself off from my friends, stopped drinking, started therapy, practicing yoga, meditation and eating healthier.
Because I wasn’t integrating prior, I was missing the messages from my ceremonies. It wasn’t until I started working with a mentor that I started having shifts. This inspired me to do the same for others and guide them in their journeys.